


On Rainy Days, I Think Of You

by BlackCrow1886



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Domestic, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Bottom Merlin, Car Accident, Established Merlin/Arthur, Heavy Angst, Implied Mpreg, M/M, light blood and gore, married!Merthur
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-26
Updated: 2014-07-26
Packaged: 2018-02-10 11:03:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2022747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackCrow1886/pseuds/BlackCrow1886
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It had been raining that Thursday in June. That day the truck hit you. The day I lost you. </p><p>I'm sorry. I love you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	On Rainy Days, I Think Of You

**Author's Note:**

> This was just a quick type-up. Tumblr user Emalestranged wanted an angsty Merthur fic where Merlin dies. I'm thinking about re-writing this from Arthur's point of view and making it longer. Thoughts?
> 
> Send your fic requests to fandom-writing-sideblog.tumblr.com!

It had been raining that Thursday in June.

Arthur was at work and Merlin was at home, taking care of Elisha and the dogs. His daughter cooed up at him with beautiful blue eyes and dark raven hair. One of the dogs, Rooney, nudged at the small child’s side with his nose. She wobbled, but didn’t fall.

Elisha had just turned one and learned to walk. Her first steps were shaky, and her feet never touched the ground unless Arthur was there to hold her, or Rooney offered his collar to her.

Bath time was after lunch, and Merlin took his daughter upstairs to the bathroom and washed her gently before he realized they were nearly out of diapers. He needed to run out and get some, and pick up something for dinner later too, so he left Elisha with a neighbor and headed outside.

He didn’t know why he had a bad feeling about going out today, the tingling in the back of his head making him hesitant about driving out at all, but their daughter needed diapers and it wouldn’t do to wait for another day to get them. So he ignored the anxiety and pulled out of the driveway.

He occupied his mind by making a mental list of the things he still had to do before the day was over. He had to finish the laundry so Arthur would have his good suit tomorrow for his corporate meeting. He had to actually make the dinner they would eat, and plan his husband’s surprise birthday party for next weekend.

He’d always been terrible at planning, but amazing at procrastinating. He could order a cake today at the grocery and pick up the ingredients for tonight’s meal. Two checks on the mental to-do list.

It was too late when he realized he’d left the umbrella at home on the sofa, so he parked and scurried into the sanctuary of the dry market building and got a basket to put his items in.

It was merely twenty minutes before he had everything he needed for dinner, got enough diapers for Elisha that they wouldn’t need any for a time, and ordered Arthur’s favorite so it’d be ready for the party next Saturday.

He once again ran to the car with his grocery bags, set them in the back seat, and got behind the wheel. Once he put the key in the ignition though, that anxious feeling returned. He needed to get home, so he turned out of the parking and onto the main road. He was watching the light and thinking about who could keep the secret from his husband when his foot absently lifted from the break.

And then it hit him.

A moving truck slammed into the side of his car, the door quickly becoming scrap and his arm being pinned underneath the metal. The sound of glass breaking was the last thing he heard before he blacked out.

 

* * *

 

 

Arthur was rushing to the intersection two blocks away from his office the second he was phoned at work.

Merlin had been in an accident. A bad one.

Paramedics were already huddling around a figure on the ground when Arthur arrived, rushing out of his car and not caring if his suit got soaked. He pushed past the officers trying to restrain him and took in the scene. Merlin’s car had been crushed into an accordion, broken glass scattered the ground and blood dripped off the side view mirror of the turned car.

The sight of the red liquid being washed down the road in the rain made Arthur want to retch and be sick, but he had more pressing matters on his mind. Merlin was over there, being resuscitated by two EMT’s, laying on an orange stretcher. The men surrounding him were trying to get his breathing jumpstarted. It’d stopped suddenly, according to their talk.

Eveything was happening in slow motion as the blonde reached his husband. His arm was clearly broken, by the angle it faced as it laid limply across the dark haired man’s chest. Half his face was obscured by an oxygen mask, a large gash across his forehead where it had slammed into the windshield was seeping more blood than Arthur had seen in his life. He knelt beside Merlin before the paramedics even realized he was there.

“Merlin?” He called urgently, trying to wake his beloved and shaking his uninjured arm gently. “Merlin, please.”

His eyes opened weakly and fluttered shut again before the men hoisted him up and into the ambulance. It was the last time Arthur saw his husband awake.

 

* * *

 

 

He’d died in the ICU that night. The impact of the crash had shattered his spine and collapsed his left lung. His face was slashed in numerous places from the glass that had shattered. His right arm and leg had been broken. He’d been worse off than he appeared to be.

Arthur had been with him, holding his hand as the machines surrounding him kept him breathing. But in the middle of the night, it just stopped. Red flashing lights and alarms sounded as the room was flooded with doctors and nurses and Arthur was pushed to the back of the room.

“Clear!” Was the only thing he could hear of his husband’s situation, and the shock of the Defibrillator before the flatline.

Tears were shed as Arthur screamed and fought to get back to Merlin, but nurses tried to hold him back so he wouldn’t see his husband’s dead body, lying on his hospital bed, gown open to reveal the rectangular scars left by the paddles that had failed to bring him back.

His first thoughts were of Elisha. How could he raise her on his own? How could she grow up not knowing her father? Merlin had always been better than him at keeping her happy. He was more awkward with the situations and honestly missed the days when she was so tiny he could practically fit her in one of his large hands and she’d curl her hand around his thumb.

He’d have to plan a funeral. It’d have to be that Sunday too. Two days and he’d bury his husband, something he never thought he’d have to do.

Who would he spend his years with when he grew old? Who would he wake up to in the morning. The lazy kisses and caresses would all but disappear. He’d be alone. No, he’d have his daughter. But Merlin would be gone.

All these thoughts passed through his mind, and the flatline was still sounding.

 

* * *

 

 

He stayed true to his word and buried Merlin on a sunny Sunday morning. Beautiful weather. He had come home the night Merlin died to his suit in the wash. He had to put it in the dryer so he could wear it that day.

Elisha cried that whole night. Why wasn’t her daddy there to help her to sleep? Arthur cried with her.

Flowers piled up in the worst way, and friends came to wish him well on his birthday the next week.

It was years before the sting of loss left him, but he always had a smile for his little girl with Merlin’s hair.

On rainy days he wouldn’t drive. He would think of Merlin though, and be grateful that at least he’d lived those extra couple of hours. At least he hadn’t died in Arthur’s arms.

Arthur wished he hadn’t died at all, but most of all he wished they wouldn’t have both been in so much pain.

But years and years later, Arthur saw him again. His grey hair was replaced by the blonde he’d had so many years ago, his eyes bright again, and he pulled his beloved into his arms and never let him go, spending forever with the sound of Merlin’s voice telling him…

_“I love you.”_


End file.
